Translations of Common Euphemisms
| DEMOCRAT | REPUBLICAN |
| Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
| Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
| Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
| Cruelty-Free Materials | Synthetic Fiber |
| Assault and Battery | Attitude Adjustment |
| Heavily Armed | Well-protected |
| Narrow-minded | Righteous |
| Taxes or Your Fair Share | Coerced Theft |
| Common Sense Gun Control | Gun Confiscation Plot |
| Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks for Stump Removal |
| Non-viable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
| Equal Access to Opportunity | Socialism |
| Multicultural Community | High Crime Area |
| Fairness or Social Progress | Marxism |
| Upper Class or "The Rich " | Self-Employed |
| Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
| Homeless or Disadvantaged | Bums or Welfare Leeches |
| Sniper Rifle | Scoped Deer Rifle |
| Investment for the Future | Higher Taxes |
| Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
| Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater | Conservative |
| Truants | Home Schoolers |
| Victim or Oppressed | Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing |
| High Capacity Magazine | Standard Capacity Magazine |
| Religious Zealot | Church-going |
| Reintroduced Wolves | Sheep and Elk Killers |
| Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
| Exploiters or "The Rich " | Any Employed or Land Owner |
| The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
| Assault Weapon | Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine) |
| Fiscal Stimulus | New Taxes and Higher Taxes |
| Same Sex Marriage | Legalized Perversion |
| Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting | Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs |
| Accepted Facts | Horse Shit!! |
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